Stop Solving Everyone's Problems

If one of your team members came to you with a conflict involving a colleague in another department and asked you to step in, what would you do?

When deadlines are tight and the pressure is on, it can be tempting to swoop in, give advice, and solve the problem yourself.

But effective leaders know that the fastest answer isn't always the best answer.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is slow down, ask questions, and lead with a coaching mindset.

The International Coaching Federation describes a coaching mindset as one that is open, curious, flexible, and centered on the person being coached.

Why add a coaching mindset to your toolkit? It can reduce your workload, increase your impact, and help break three problematic cycles: creating overdependence, becoming overwhelmed, and growing disconnected from the people you lead.

Last week, I had the opportunity to lead a session with the commissioners and directors of the Lexington Fayette Urban County Government (LFUCG), where we explored how leaders can use coaching skills to strengthen relationships, develop their teams, and create more sustainable solutions.

Using the seven essential questions from The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier as their guide, I was blown away by how these civic leaders paused, led with curiosity, and practiced active listening.

After I introduced the framework, they spent much of the workshop practicing coaching to build their confidence in asking rather than answering, and in developing others rather than directing them.

Their biggest takeaway? Not every problem requires a solution from the boss.

Sometimes team members simply want to gut-check their own thinking. Sometimes they need a safe space to vent. Sometimes they just need to know you have their back. And sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do as a leader is resist the urge to rescue.

Watching these LFUCG leaders, some of whom are responsible for hundreds of employees, was a powerful reminder that leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about creating the conditions for others to think, grow, and solve problems themselves.

After all, the best leaders don't build dependence. They build capacity and prepare others to lead.

How would your team benefit from adopting a coaching mindset?

Brain Food

If you've ever worked with a difficult colleague, you know how challenging those relationships can be. In Getting Along, workplace expert Amy Gallo identifies eight common archetypes, including the insecure boss, the passive-aggressive peer, and the know-it-all. Rather than writing people off, Gallo offers practical, research-backed strategies to help you navigate conflict, communicate more effectively, and protect your own career — while hopefully also preserving your sanity.

In the Spotlight

Leadership Workshops

Could your company, organization, or board benefit from a workshop focused on leadership, communication, or message strategy? I love helping teams build trust, work better together, and navigate challenging situations with clarity and confidence. All of my sessions are interactive, tailored to your goals, and packed with practical ideas people can put to use right away. If that sounds helpful, I'd love to chat!

Real Talk 

I recently posted about a struggle I'm having as the parent of a high achiever: How do we celebrate our kids' accomplishments without unintentionally tying their worth to achievement? It was heartening to know I'm not alone. From "Do what makes your heart sing" to focusing on the feelings and memories that come from the experience, I'm grateful for new ways to remind our son that his worth has nothing to do with winning.

A Gentle Reminder

Being helpful and being indispensable are not the same thing. After all, great leaders are more likely to be measured by how they help people grow, not by how many problems they solved by themselves.

This week, before offering advice, try asking one more question. You might be surprised by how often people already have the answer. They just need to know you’re always in their corner, as I am in yours.