Let Them vs. Let Me
You’ve probably come across The Let Them Theory, bestselling book by psychologist and podcaster Mel Robbins. The premise: you can’t control what others think, say, or do—so let them. Let them act how they will. Let them believe what they choose. Let them make that decision. It’s not your job or place to manage their behavior, opinions or actions. According to the author, accepting this will help you live a more free and fulfilling life.
There’s certainly truth in that—but it’s also over-simplified. The more transformative idea, for me, is the less-publicized, second step that Robbins proposes: let me. Let me choose my next move. Let me own how I respond. Let me grow through this.
As a coach helping high achievers lead with intention and advance their careers, I know how tough it can be to put this concept into practice—not just because I’ve coached others through it, but because I’ve lived this challenge many times over. Letting go can be hard!
The real breakthrough comes when you realize your agency doesn’t come from controlling everything and everyone around you. It comes from choosing how you show up, how you respond, and how you move forward—especially when things don’t go your way.
💡 If this resonates, ask yourself this: What might become possible if you stop fixating on them and start fully claiming what’s yours to own?
